I tried to stop myself from writing this one. I really did, but Axe Girl got the best of me and I couldn’t take it anymore. So here it goes.
Do you have to live on this planet? Can’t you just drop dead from unknown causes? I wouldn’t even care if you didn’t die, could you just disappear and be completely erased form the minds of those who matter to me? Is that really too much to ask?
Why is it that every time I think I have a good thing there is always some girl who has to be in the picture? Like did I really screw up so badly in the past to where my whole future has to be diseased with people who are really just a waste of space and oxygen.
“Why Axe Girl are you so angry?”
“Why Axe Girl are you so threatened by her?”
“She doesn’t mean anything to me Axe Girl.”
“I love you, get it through your head. Not her”
Well this is what Axe Girl has to say about it:
Why am I so angry? Because I am tired of feeling like I am disposable. I am tired of feeling like one wrong word and it will be like I’m grains of sand tossed into sea, never to be seen again.
Why am I so threatened by her? Honestly, I’m not. I know for a fact that she will never measure up to what I am capable of. I know that No matter what, I am the more superior one when it comes to that. (I’m sorry if that sounded really shitty I will probably edit it later I am really upset right now though)
She doesn’t mean anything to you? Then why do you feel the necessity to call? To text? To Facebook? To wonder? To even bring her up or think or her? If she didn’t matter at all, even if she was a friend, if you knew the pain it caused to someone you said you loved you would mean it when you say she doesn’t mean anything.
You love me? I know that, but you know sometimes it really doesn’t feel that way. Sometimes it feels, like I said before, like I am disposable. I’m nothing special, not a knight, or even a bishop, I’m just a pawn. I have no real purpose and am completely and utterly disposable.
You want to know why Axe Girl is so mad?
Well imagine you were Axe Girl.
Now, lets pretend that I’m you.
Now, you’re Axe Girl and I’m you and I basically look at your feelings as less than important, they are far less important than mine and your thoughts and opinions a lot of the time are just irrelevant.
Okay so now Axe Girl, you feel pretty bad don’t you?
I tell you I love you everyday and I mean it. I really do.
But right after I tell you I love you, I take something you thought was important and I basically tell you, I don’t care at all and I don’t understand why you’re telling me. It is of no relevance to me and I think your stupid for thinking I would care about something so mundane to me.
Tell me Axe Girl, do you believe I love you now?
But I’ve shown you so many times that I do care and I do love you. I’ve given you my everything and I would continue.
So now, Axe Girl, you believe me again.
(It’s okay, in a few hours I’m going to make you question it again, you just don’t expect it yet)
So now we can switch back.
I’m Axe Girl again, and you can be you now.